


Without You

by kitty_19



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, esp victor, everyone is hurt, it was suicide, nobody is okay, yuri is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 05:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9585707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty_19/pseuds/kitty_19
Summary: The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained





	

Today was the day.

The day he’d go to his grave.

It’s been 3 years since he died.

And not once has Victor Nikiforov been able to go to Yuri Katsuki’s grave.

Even though, Victor was the one who chose where the grave should be located.

Despite, his dead fiancée being gone for 3 years now, he still doesn’t know how to cope with the loneliness.

Being around family and friends hasn’t helped one bit.

In his will, Yuri had mentioned that all he wanted was for Victor to remain happy and stay friends with all the other skaters.

Till date, Victor doesn’t understand why Yuri took his own life.

He thought Yuri was happy.

He thought Yuri was finally able to overcome his anxiety.

But, his insecurities finally got the best of him.

Victor blamed himself for it.

At first, he thought he was neglecting Yuri and his feelings.

However, it turned out, Yuri had been battling his demons for a very long time now.

Just when Yuri had let his guard down, they came back to haunt him.

\----------------------

The funeral was absolutely shit.

Everyone was a mess.

All the skaters were there.

Not all of them were friends with Yuri.

Yet they still came.

Yurio couldn’t stop crying.

He screamed at Yuri’s casket, saying he wasn’t really dead.

He called Yuri a coward.

He cursed Yuri.

Eventually, he had to be removed because of the profanities he was spouting.

The saddest part of the funeral was Phichit not shedding a single tear.

It was clear as day that Yuri’s best friend was horribly depressed over his death.

But, he didn’t cry.

Not even a single tear.

Only because in Yuri’s will, he said that he didn’t want Phichit to cry as he wouldn’t be there to wipe his tears.

Everyone respected Phichit for following through with it.

Even though he cried so much afterward.

After the funeral, Victor disappeared from the public for 5 months.

He refused to contact anyone.

He couldn’t bear to face anyone.

He thought that they’d have a happy ending.

They’d even planned their wedding.

Everything was supposed to be perfect.

Victor was finally happy.

He had someone who truly loved him.

Who cared for him.

But, he lost it all.

\-----------------------

Today, Victor felt confident.

He had to visit Yuri today.

He owed his first, true love that much.

_While looking at Yuri’s grave, Victor takes a deep breath, holding back his tears._

_He musters up a smile and bends down to sit in front of the grave._

_“Hey, Yuri.” He says, softly. “Guess what happened today?” As he begins to explain today's’ events, tears begin to slip down Victor’s face._

_He doesn’t do anything to wipe them away and just carries on talking._

_“Oh! I almost forgot!” Victor suddenly exclaims, remembering something. He pulls out a picture from his pocket._

_The picture was of him and Yuri lying on the couch, sleeping. Victor had his arms wrapped around Yuri in a protective manner._

_Yurio had taken the picture to blackmail the two, but it backfired when the pair fell in love with the photo._

_Victor had to do a lot to get the photo from Yurio._

_Carefully, Victor places the photo under the flowers that were kept there and smiles through his tears._

_He takes out another photo of Yuri with all the other skaters. It was a very happy photo. They had just met up for drinks and were having a lot of fun._

_He places the photo on top of the flowers and gets up, brushing off the dirt from his pants._

_Victor smiles lovingly at the grave. ‘Goodbye, Yuri.’_

//the hardest part wasn’t losing you, but learning to live without you//

**Author's Note:**

> #not okay  
> #NOT OKAY AT ALL


End file.
